"Thrive With ADD"
The Perfectionism Trap

In this Issue:

• THE PERFECTIONISM TRAP
  How to Avoid Falling In
• TECHNOLOGY TOOL TIP
  Personal Timer

Sidebar:

• COACHING FOR ADD ADULTS
  Is Coaching for You?
• NEW RESOURCES COMING
  Audio Recording, Strategy E-book, Coaching Video
• CELEBRATE THE DIFFERENCE
  Fun Illustrated Products Show Off ADD Strengths

As you may have noticed, this newsletter has been on a rather long - and unanticipated - "summer hiatus." I intended to concentrate this summer on producing a number of resources for ADD adults. So perhaps it doesn't surprise you that I HYPER-FOCUSED on these, to the exclusion of writing this newsletter. My apologies!

However, I must confess the newsletter delay came largely as a result of wanting to be able to announce the new products as being all up and ready on my website. In my desire for the next newsletter to be perfect (complete with product announcements), I delayed getting one out at all.

How many times have you been late meeting a deadline because you were too focused on getting things exactly right? Perhaps you've hyper-focused on a detail that was important to you, but not necessarily to the ones who wanted what you were providing.

Here are a few examples. See if you relate:

• Jonathan wanted to do a favor for his friend, so he insisted on reproducing the friend's portfolio at a print shop where he could get a discount. The friend agreed, but stipulated that the portfolio was needed in three days. Jonathan came back ten days later with ten portfolios on much more expensive stock than needed. By then, the frustrated friend had gotten the reproduction done himself in order to meet a deadline.



• Marcia was asked to deliver a presentation at an important technology conference. In preparing her talk, she thought of using the analogy of a house to illustrate her point, and wanted clip art of houses to insert in her visuals. The search for the perfect house illustrations added five hours on to her preparation time, keeping her from meeting her sales quota for the week.



• Leslie was a professional organizer - an ADDer who HATED clutter! She knew exactly what kind of file boxes would be perfect for a new client, who needed a major office overhaul. For several weeks, the client hadn't been able to make it to the store to get the boxes, so Leslie delayed scheduling the organizing. Finally, the client told Leslie the organizing was finished; he had hired another organizer who was more flexible.

SET A TIMER. If you're working on a project where you might go off on perfectionist tangents, set a timer at regular intervals to catch yourself. One way to do this could be setting your pager to vibrate every 30 minutes, just to catch your attention.

(Timer Hint: See www.invisibleclock.com)

MEMORIZE 4 KEY QUESTIONS. These are questions to ask when you catch yourself on a tangent. They are:

• What are my triggers?
• What assumptions am I making?
• What do they really want?
• What is being lost?

Anticipate the triggers. Think about what aspects of your project are likely to trigger your hyper-focus or perfectionist mode, to the detriment of the outcome.

Consider your assumptions. If you were to consciously continue on the perfectionist route, you would be making an assumption about it. In the above examples, Jonathan's assumption would have to be that the friend really wanted ten portfolios at highest quality, no matter how long it took. (WRONG!) Marcia would have to assume that illustrations of houses would be more important to her career and boss than meeting her sales quota. (NOPE!) And Leslie would assume that her new client would be willing to wait on his office organization until he got the boxes Leslie required. (FALSE!)

Ask yourself what the recipient REALLY wants. Of course, those assumptions were incorrect. Jonathan's friend really wanted his portfolio on time. Marcia's audience cared about the technology message, not houses. Leslie's client just wanted his office organized quickly!

Determine what will be lost as a result of your insistence on perfectionism. Might you be losing a client opportunity, or a friend's being able to count on you to deliver on time? In the case of my delaying this newsletter, I heard from several readers who were hoping for some strategies and tips!

"Coaching is a way to develop effective strategies to help you reach goals of greater performance, change or transformation in your life. Coaching will help you reach important decisions, and deal with people, events and organization in an optimal way. As an ADD Coach, I help you understand how ADD works with you in particular, so that you can work WITH your own flow and rhythm, rather than against it. You can reach goals you never thought possible!"

Visit www.thrivewithADD.com first to find out how ADD coaching works. Then, contact Bonnie to set an appointment for a free 30-minute phone coaching session.

Several affordable resources will be up on my website by the end of September.
See www.thrivewithADD.com.

"Thrive with ADD" CD / Audio Recording

Based on my popular teleclasses and New York workshop, this 74-minute recording contains all the learnings from Overview of Adult ADD, and Work, Tasks, Projects and Study. It contains strategies, anecdotes, to be used for self-observation to help you coach yourself. It's also great for helping your loved ones understand you.

Strategy E-Book:
"The Keys to Getting Started"

In a survey of my readers, you indicated Getting Started as your biggest challenge (I can relate!) So this is the first book in what will be a "Keys to..." series of strategy e-books.

Video segment on Adult ADD for Public Broadcasting

I had a short video produced on adult ADD, that will be sent to all the Public Broadcasting (PBS) stations in the U.S. in the fall.