Dear Friends of Thrive with ADD:

In February, 2006, I asked Thrive with ADD readers to talk about the role that shame played in compounding the challenges of some of their ADD-related tendencies. About 480 people responded.

The dramatic results show that actions resulting from shame created far greater problems than behavior resulting from ADD! This indicates that finding different behavior strategies to deal with shame should be a high priority for ADD Coaches.

Here is a summary of the results.

When in a situation where you "goofed:"

• The great majority, 98%, felt at least somewhat ashamed.
• Of those, 53% felt ashamed to the point of being paralyzed and ruminating about it.
• Most avoided dealing with problems when they were ashamed.

Problems that contributed the most to the shame/avoidance cycle were:

• Procrastination - 63%
• Clutter - 53%
• Daily disorganization and chaos - 45%
• Letting a friendship or relationship die through neglect - 39%
• Inability to perform well professionally or academically - 38%

People were most concerned of being judged by:

• People in general - didn't matter who - 40%
• Their own internal self-judgement - 27%
• Fear of the judgement of strangers was very minor, 2%

Most of the respondents, 61%, felt judged and criticized when they were children.

Consequences of avoidance due to shame were enormous:

• Avoiding made the initial consequences worse for 65%
• When the problem was dealt with quickly, 77% found the consequences were not as bad as they had feared.

My goal is to provide Thrive with ADD resources that will make a positive difference for you, with some follow-through reminders to help you use them.
 

As a result of this survey, I've created a teleclass called "Break the Chains of Shame" with fellow ADHD Coach Nancy Snell. Click here for details.

THANK YOU for your help in letting me know what matters most to you!

Wishing you a thriving year,

Bonnie Mincu

Bonnie Mincu: 914-478-0071 Find out about other services from Mincu & Associates...

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