Did you start this last summer with promises like: "This summer I'll...

• Clean out the garage
• Give away all my old clothes I don't wear
• Finish the kitchen cabinets
• Get a handle on our finances

If you haven't done them, you're not alone! Welcome to the "Domestic Doghouse."

WHY DOMESTIC COMMITMENTS DON'T GET DONE

ADDers often have problems with getting started and following through. Sometimes it's because of a habit of over-promising things that couldn't realistically get done in the first place. Other problems range from simple procrastination to distraction and overwhelm.

Here are the top five reasons I hear for not getting things done at home:

1. Not giving serious thought to what would be needed to handle the project.
   

   Greg figured he could clean out the garage in just a few hours. He started at 3:00 on a Sunday, digging into shelves of miscellaneous items that had been stored in the garage for years. Greg needed boxes to sort these items, which ranged from Barbie dolls from 20 years back to an obsolete dial telephone. Without containers, he would have to dump all the junk on the garage floor or lawn. So Greg stopped working, with the intention of resuming once he had boxes. Since he never made a reminder in his calendar to get the boxes, the garage didn't get cleaned.

   COACH'S ADVICE: Write down each step of the project, along with the requirements to complete it. Then make a plan for obtaining the requirements before beginning.

   HINT: Mind-mapping is the easiest way to plan. See "Get Unstuck with MindMapping" to learn how



2. Not committing to a start or end date for the project.
   

   Carrie hated her shabby kitchen cabinets and planned to sand and re-finish them herself in the summer. But whenever it crossed her mind, there were always other obligations, or overnight guests or more pleasant things to do. Now Callie gets in a bad mood every time she enters the kitchen.

   COACH'S ADVICE: Give yourself a target date for completion and work backwards from there for dates to complete each step. Use a calendar and make sure all your other commitments are entered in the calendar. If family is involved, go over your plan with them to make sure you aren't forgetting anything else that is planned. Be realistic about your attention span for working on various stages of the project!



3. Not considering possible roadblocks to beginning the project, and dealing with them.

   Anne had a big heavy box of junk in front of her closet door. She needed to determine how to deal with that before she could enter her closet to sort through her clothes.

   COACH'S ADVICE: Go directly to the scene where you'll be working, or visualize it in your mind. Imagine yourself starting the project. Is there something in your way? If so, that is where you need to begin.



4. Not involving other people whose input is needed.

   Dan knew his family was living beyond their means and promised his wife he'd come up with a budget. But he felt overwhelmed at the prospect of budgeting. Since his wife did most of the shopping, Dan had no idea what the family's monthly expenditures were on food, clothing and household expenses. He could not realistically assess the family's expenses without her help.

   COACH'S ADVICE: Before making a personal commitment to someone else, think about whether you can actually carry it out yourself, or whether you need help. Manage the expectations of the other person by communicating your need up front.



5. Not treating a personal commitment as if it were real or important.

   Lily had to go through piles of intricate medical paperwork to submit claims for a substantial insurance reimbursement. Every time Lily sat down to work on it, she'd get interrupted by a phone call or distracted by a something else to do at home.

   COACH'S ADVICE: Imagine this were something you had to do for your job. Since you wouldn't make these trivial excuses to your boss, you'd probably consider what you could do to eliminate these distractions! Turn off your cell phone, stay off email, or take the whole pile of paper to another location to work on if home is distracting. A café, library, or your office after hours can be a much better place to concentrate than home.

IF YOU'VE OVER-PROMISED

Since summer is over, determine whether it's possible to get your project done by Thanksgiving. If not, you have several choices:

a) Modify the commitment to whatever steps of the project CAN be completed by Thanksgiving.

b) Cancel other obligations in order to meet the Thanksgiving deadline.

c) Admit to whomever you promised that you were overly optimistic and re-negotiate the deadline.

d) Ignore reality. Do none of the above, avoid dealing with it and earn another season in the Domestic Doghouse.

OR... join the "REACHING YOUR GOALS" Coaching Group. Read on!