ADHD Adults come in all shapes and sizes. Likewise, we run the gamut when it comes to personal inclinations and mind-sets when taking in a lot of information. My own coaching clients' tendencies range from paralyzed brain-freeze to gleeful excitement over every new stimulus that comes along. Ironically, both conditions can create similar problems.

What could possibly be wrong with excitement and optimism?

Although creative hyper-optimism certainly FEELS better than gloomy pessimism, both states of mind have similar effects on your personal productivity. At the end of the day, you can find yourself overwhelmed, non-productive and stuck in first gear!

Can you remember when you have been:

• So excited by a new idea that you spent all your time thinking about it
  
• Stimulated by lots of possibilities, all crowding your brain at once
  
• So distracted by a new direction or project that you have trouble completing a project you've already begun
  

All that optimism felt great while it lasted. But did it lead to productivity and accomplishment? If you find that your creative thought process is preventing your from following through on your ideas - to say nothing of the obligations of everyday life -- you may have to indulge your "inner child" in a new way.

Your inner two-year-old

You've probably heard of the concept of the "inner child" - that each of us, in our deepest self, has needs and wants unrelated to the wisdom and maturity that we've learned as responsible adults.

I like to think of an ADD brain as an inner two-year-old. Like a two-year-old child, your brain delights in saying "no" to whatever it doesn't feel like doing or thinking about. Also like a young child, it reaches out for whatever bright, shiny objects it encounters. When not allowed to play with the bright new thing, it cries and kicks until satisfied. But once in its hands, the object begins to lose its luster, and is likely to be set aside when a NEW bright thing comes along.

Two-year-olds are too young to relate to the wisdom of delayed gratification. Until its whims are satisfied, a two-year-old will not be able to stop thinking of what it desires. Likewise, if you want your brain to behave, you may have to indulge it first.

Combine adult wisdom with child-like self-indulgence

Now that you've acknowledged your inner two-year-old, take a moment to think through your adult responsibilities in a systematic way. Like the state of overwhelmed paralysis, a whirling frenzy of thought is the opposite of 'systematic." In either case, you'll need to break your brain's non-productive tendency with some deliberate thinking.

If your mind is overwhelmed with ideas and obligations, start by picking ONE project or activity for this exercise. It can be one that is the most urgent and important, that has the most opportunity, or that you'll feel the most consequences about if you don't follow through on it.

PRACTICE on ONE PROJECT

1. Take concentration time
   First, take time out from what you're doing to concentrate on breaking down your thought process. You may have to go to a different location to think differently. I suggest you take writing materials with you. If you're saying you don't have time to think things through, then you're just perpetuating the problem. This process will end up saving you time, and helping you actually get things done.
   
   
2. Break the project down into action steps

   Write or type all the activities that will be required to fulfill this project. Don't get caught up in how daunting these steps may be, or dwelling on the outcome. Just write down all the steps. Break them down into their smallest parts.
   HINT: A mind-map technique may be the most useful for capturing all the action steps. Click here to see a past Newsletter on Mind-Mapping.
   
   

3. For each step, visualize what must come first.

   As you write each action that you can think of, imagine yourself performing it. Is there something that must come first, or that is getting in the way? If so, then THAT is also an action step to add.

   For example, Clare's desired project is to host a fancy Christmas dinner, which she's never done before. Her roadblock is a very messy and cluttered house. She can't imagine having her family over to dinner with the mess. So her first steps are to think through what actions will get her to the goal of a clean house by December 20.
   
   

4. Give each step a target date

   Using a calendar that shows all your current obligations and appointments, pick target dates and times for performing the various action steps. Then fill them in on your calendar. Be conservative if you don't know how long each step will take. You may want to use pencil if they're likely to change.
   
   

5. Create a checklist

   It can be very helpful to create a visual checklist of all the steps and their target dates. That will allow you to check off each action, so you can see your progress as you go.

Now that you've got the drill down for one project, you may want to expand your actions to additional projects, time permitting. Be careful of any tendencies to be overly optimistic about time! It's a pointless exercise to put more on your calendar than you can realistically accomplish. In fact, if you have a habit of hopelessly long to-do lists, it may be this over-optimism that is creating your problems in follow-through.

The plan you've just created can serve as your support structure. As long as you follow this structure, at least in a general way, you can afford to indulge your inner child to some degree.

You might need to satisfy your inner two-year-old before beginning each action step of your project. If so, think about what will be satisfying to you. Will it be daydreaming? Indulging a hobby/ Shopping? Reading or music? Whatever it is, pick an amount of time that you can spend on that pleasure that will then allow you to flow into the obligatory action step.


Set limits for your child

Like any good parent, you will want to set limits for your child. There are two necessary parameters to indulging your inner two-year-old in a productive way.

• NON-ADDICTIVE ACTIVITIES

  First, the pleasant activity must not be one that is too addicting to you, or you won't want to stop. It must be one that has built-in limits, or that you'll be able to pull yourself away from when necessary. So reading the latest can't-put-it-down thriller, playing an addictive video game or clothes shopping are probably not good activities to indulge in before a scheduled action step.

• REMINDER SYSTEM

  Second, set a timer or have a built-in reminder system to limit the activity. It's best to spend no more than an hour at this indulgence. Examples of indulgent activities with built-in limits are reading a newspaper or watching just one TV show. Activities that might require a timer to warn you when to wind down and stop are those without an automatic end.

Have you ever wished you could be your own coach?

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to guide yourself to your own uniquely workable solutions for life's challenges, the way a coach would guide you?

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Jump-Start Your New Year with a GIFT to YOURSELF.

What do you want to achieve in the new year?

There may be something special you want to attain in 2007, but are afraid that your usual habits are getting in the way. Would you like to get different results?

A few sessions with a private coach could turn your whole picture around.

How about giving yourself the gift of coaching?

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• It's not locked in to a schedule
  Coaching does not require a commitment to the same day or time each week -- you can change your appointment every week to suit your schedule.
  
  
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  Coaching by phone can be done anywhere. I've coached clients all over the world, including Europe and Asia!
  (You may coach in person in New York City.)

Personal coaching is one gift you can give yourself now that will benefit you over your lifetime. Click here to read what a few of my private coaching clients have had to say.

FREE TELEPHONE COACHING CONSULTATION

Contact me to talk about creating a personalized coaching plan to reach your goal.

• First, click here to read about coaching.
• Then, phone or email me to set an appointment for a free 30-minute phone coaching consultation.

PHONE: 212-614-7317
E-MAIL: bonnie@bonniemincu.com
WEBSITE: www.thrivewithadd.com

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Copyright 2006 Bonnie Mincu. The 'THRIVE with ADD Newsletter' may only be redistributed in its unedited form. Written permission from the author must be obtained to reprint or cite the information contained within this newsletter.