Why do we do what we do?

Unlike the cat, we ADDers usually have some understanding of consequences. Yet we do things all the time that seem to make no sense to ourselves or others.

As someone with ADHD, you'd probably say that several times a day you do a number of things that might seem to someone else to be irrational - or even self-sabotaging. 

Imagine if this were your day:

Find Answers in Your Behavior Patterns

The answers that will help you don't lie with psychology. And understanding your brain physiology, while certainly interesting, won't make a difference in changing your actions.   What matters here is that you become aware of the triggers and roadblocks that you react to. This way, you can create strategies to overcome them.

You'll get this kind of accurate awareness of your behavior patterns by writing down, in one place, what got in your way every day. For each instance, ask yourself WHY the problem occurred. This will lead you to your solutions.

Here are a few possible triggers and roadblocks from the example above. If you have similar behaviors, jot down your own reasons why and the solutions that come to mind.

• WHY? You were up too late and shut off the alarm in your sleep.
• SOLUTIONS: Use a timer to go to bed earlier. Put the alarm clock across the room.

• WHY? You liked doing them, lost track of time, and put off leaving for work.
• SOLUTIONS: Plan another time to do them, or get up earlier and use a timer to remind you of when you must stop the activity and get ready to leave.

• WHY? You couldn't decide what to wear and the clothes were wrinkled on the floor. You had to search for misplaced papers and keys.
• SOLUTIONS: Plan and prepare your clothes the night before. Pack your bag the night before. Find one place to always put your keys.

• WHY? You chronically under-estimate the amount of time it takes to get to work.
• SOLUTIONS: Write down exactly how long it takes you for every step of getting to work. Steps might include driving / transportation, waiting, parking, walking from car or transportation, waiting for elevator.

• WHY? Email makes you hyper-focus and you lose track of time. You spend too long answering unessential emails that can wait.
• SOLUTIONS: Don't do email first thing in the morning. Or only answer the most urgent / important in the morning and save the less important for later (perhaps after lunch).

• WHY? You're more easily distracted in the morning by noise.
• SOLUTIONS: Wear headsets or earplugs, or close your door. Perhaps you can take your work to a different location when you have to concentrate.

• WHY? You didn't want to start such a large project and have to stop shortly after starting.
• SOLUTIONS: Break down the project into steps, so you could complete one step at a time. You could complete one activity before lunch.

• WHY? You lost track of time.
• SOLUTIONS: Don't take a long shopping lunch when you have a major project due. Or set a timer so you won't lose track of time.

• WHY? You couldn't focus; your brain needed to "ease in" to heavy work after lunch.
• SOLUTION: Do a part of the report that's easiest when you have trouble getting started. 

• WHY? You'd never really paid attention to how long reports take to do, so you were lacking an appropriate sense of urgency.
• SOLUTION: Start predicting how long your tasks will take, time them, and compare your predictions to reality. This will help you develop an accurate "time sense." Then scope out your projects and put target dates for completing steps into a calendar.

WHAT to do is easy, but...

As you've probably noticed, the solutions here seem obvious! You may have roadblocks that have kept you from following these solutions. So for each obvious solution, ask yourself WHY you haven't done that. If you keep asking "why," you'll uncover all the roadblocks that are getting in your way . That way, you'll come up with strategies that will actually work for you.

How to Get Yourself to Do It

COACHING PROGRAMS

People with ADD / ADHD often know what to do, but they have trouble figuring out how to get themselves to do it.     That's where an ADHD Coach comes in. You can read about my coaching program at http://www.thrivewithadd.com/coaching.

Or click here for a heads-up on my new Coaching Groups starting this fall!

ALTERNATIVE THRIVE WITH ADD RESOURCES

Downloadable recordings with notes on particular challenges for ADD Adults. See the list of recordings at: http://www.thrivewithadd.com/class_recordings.

Self-Coaching Workbook/CD Package - This is my best-value package for guiding you through finding your own unique set of solutions. Several downloadable classes are included. See details at: http://www.thrivewithadd.com/selfcoaching_worksh.